Aug 2, 2015

Emotionally Slutty

Wearin: Black One - H&M
Sandals: H&M
Kimono - thrifted

I am an very emotional person which also maybe comes from my name which means feeling in turkish. I feel too much and I am too sentimental. 

Thinking and feeling all the time in this big city with no feelings - it's ironic. :D 

I found out whenever I loose my path I always come back to my blog and it brings me my energy back that I've used up for other people/circumstances like work or my college etc.
I feel like this is really something I need and want to put more effort into and hope it will work out better than the past. 
I am also in my second year of my studying and I am looking forward for some travelling in my next two years. I guess I was always stuck here because of work, but now I have the strength to put everything aside and unbound myself from this city/country and its negative aspect, which it has on me. 
I can't find myself happy in this city but I also don't wanna blame the city for this.. 
21 years old and turning into 22 in a month.. 
I guess this is a typical phase which every human being has to go through because you still don't know what you want from life. :D 
Actually all we need is a little passion and love in our lives but you can't find this here in this country. It's lost. As sad as it is.. I really can't see anything positive about Istanbul except the tourists who bring some modernity. 
You get to understand that your friendships only existed of one sided needs. 
They use you. People use you. 
I once wrote here that I got used to this but I stopped this. I deleted everything and everyone which/who brings negative energy to myself. I don't have to get used to any bad influence just because I am scared of being alone. 
It is better to be on your own than being used all the time because that can be exhausting and frustrading. We only need the ones who care the most about us and here we/you/me/us need to be careful. Analyze before revealing too much too soon or else you're going to be emotionally slutty.. just as Carrie Bradshaw once said.